Say it ain't so........

December 18, 2007

JARS Member Injured In Hunting Accident

Story by: Ranger Richardson

KI4ODO Marvin Montjoy  injured in hunting accident

For the beginning of December, the weather that day was unseasonably warm.  ODO decided to forego his GORE-TEX insulated boots and go for a more casual sport boot.  With every pull of the lace, he felt a tingle run up his leg but shrugged it off as old age and ran outside to join his impatiently waiting brother.  The two sped along the back winding roads until the glow of the sun was nearly snuffed out from the thick overhead brush.  ODO, being the poster child for fitness, told his brother to slow the truck and leaped from the rolling vehicle.

 He knew that if he was going to find the big one, that he would have to get off the beaten trail and cut through the brush.  As he worked his way down the terrain, he came upon a very familiar musty odor.  The amount of joy that began to fill his bosom caused his endorphins to go buck wild.  As he worked his way around a large oak, his senses were so alert that he could have sworn that he saw the massive creature through the great oak.  With one swift leap, he had the creature by the neck.  The stunned buck froze in astonishment and ODO took advantage of his frozen prey reaching down with his free hand for his trusty Gerber Bowie knife.

  But what the great ODO had forgotten, was that his Damascus steel beauty lived in his hunting boots and not in the casual sport ones he had chosen to wear that warm December day.  In that moment of despair, ODO’s strength left him as if Delilah had cut his hair.  The now alert buck knew that he had the upper hand and tore off through the woods with ODO clinging on.  Tree limb after tree limb pounded ODO, but fear had frozen his limbs around the speeding deer.  He couldn’t let go even if he wanted to.  Then all of the sudden there was peace.  ODO felt as light as a cloud.  His pale body was catapulted through the air as the deer locked down on the breaks and sent ODO on his way.  The fall seemed bottomless.  ODO’s mind oscillated between thoughts of relief from his captor to thoughts of dread of his impending fall.  Then with a loud roar the jungle became very very quiet.  The great ODO was woken with sounds of his rescuers in the distance.  His mangled body had all but been covered by the forest, as if the forest was looking out for its own.

After multiple doses of morphine and pain medication that ODO received, he was still hurting.  Poor ODO not only suffered from the bad knee from the failed wrestling match with a monster beast of a deer that eluded him, but also from a phone call he received from Ranger Richardson who called him wanting to discuss the accident with him.  As ODO was more than willing to discuss it, he began his tale starting from the very beginning with entering onto George Mackey's land.  He elaborated with great detail about how he and his brother were on the trail of the deer and ended his saga with EMS workers, morphine and the crane needed to extract ODO from the creek bed into which he landed.

After ODO was done with his story of events, Ranger Richardson expressed his sympathy to ODO and his situation, however, he did have some very bad news for him.  Ranger Richardson was extremely sorry to inform ODO that he was going to have to charge him and his brother with TRESPASSING on George Mackey's land.  In addition, he was going to have to SUSPEND his hunting license for a period of 2 years and ODO possibly faced a hefty fine.

ODO was absolutely delirious at this point; not only was he hobbling around on crutches and out of work for the foreseeable future, but now his favorite past time, hunting, was being ripped out from under him for the next 2 years. ODO was totally upset; he stated that this must be a serious misunderstanding because he had talked to George Mackey last week and had permission to be on his land.  Ranger Richardson informed ODO that George Mackey had called his office that morning and stated that he had never given him or his brother permission to hunt on his land.  In fact, Mr. Mackey said he only knew of the boys because he had to chase them off his land on several occasions for trying to run a moonshine still on his property.  George Mackey told Ranger Richardson that he did not want those "Hellions" on his land anymore!

At this point, ODO was just about as stressed as a man could get in his position; he had a bad knee, which caused a great deal of pain and needed immediate surgery, he would be out of work for an extended period of time, and to top it all off, he faced trespassing charges and the loss of his hunting license for 2 years!  At this point, Ranger Richardson had to finally ease ODO's pain.  The boy was stressed out and about to pop a blood vessel in his neck.  The ranger figured that he had ribbed him enough and he asked ODO if he had any idea who he was talking to.  After a moment of silence, ODO finally realized that it was not Ranger Richardson but a JARS member who had, in fact, been pulling his leg about all of this! 

After a tirade that would make a sailor blush, ODO had a great laugh about it and actually thanked the JARS member because it was the only time that he had laughed or smiled since that truly horrendous accident. 

I do hope that everyone will always try and know who they are talking to when something is going on in their life…it just may be a JARS member who might get you a little hot under the collar when you least expect it!

December 8,2007

After a day of traveling with the Lid of the Month I was able to come across several more people in JARS Land that love to wear SPANDEX!   See if you can guess who these people are!

December 7,2007

    Everyone has heard Jerry for years talk about "SPANDEX" well he is finally wearing the beloved material that he has talked about so much!  After seeing this picture I am sure that you will agree that it would be nice for him to wear SPANDEX  ALL THE TIME!   Who would have ever thought that Jerry would look so nice in SPANDEX! 

Here is Jerry before the SPANDEX is applied!

The visions of Jerry in spandex that must have come into everyone's mind are now in a better place after these pictures. Although this isn't the purple spandex leisure suit that Jerry has talked about wearing and was probably not exactly what you were expecting either.  Rather a great delight to see how SPANDEX can be one of the best materials for showing off or this case hiding physical features in ways that only spandex can do.  

 December 2, 2007

The Platinum BLONDE lid at JARSFEST with the coveted butt gasket!